When I was a kid I was terrified to go to sleep at night. The blue-green light of my clock radio cast just enough eerie shadows on the walls to bring my vivid imagination to life.
(You remember that rash outbreak of Russian thugs that broke into the bedrooms of 10 year old suburban kids back in the mid-80’s, right? Stupid Cold War.)
So I developed a little habit.
Every night I situated the blankets and pillows on my bed in such a way that my face was securely insulated in its own private hideout. An impenetrable fortress of cotton sheets and down stuffing with just enough opening for my nostrils to suck in the cool night air. No malcontent Soviets were breaking through this blockade.
As irrational as it was, somehow it made me feel…
Fast forward a quarter century.
Just last night, I awoke submerged in a hideout of bed linens like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas Eve. Flashback to 1986! And even though I’m old enough to know KGB spies aren’t repelling down our aluminum siding to steal my Facebook login, it reawakened that childhood sense of covering and security I felt being buried beneath a layer of blankets and pillows.
No one really believes that a few thin layers of bedding would act as valid protection from Kremlin assassins. But my little self-made fictional fortress helped me create the illusion (at least in my mind).
I’m still really good at building “hideouts.”
Sidestepping uncomfortable conversations.
Pushing off the difficult decisions.
(FYI: “I’m praying about it” is always a good one if you’re looking for a “spiritual sounding” cover up).
And just like my pointless shelter of pillows and blankets, these “strongholds” are just false illusions of security.
Every time I hole up in my own man-made sentinel, I trade in the opportunity to be truly hidden away. I choose self-protection over God’s protection. What an absurd exchange. After all, do I really need protecting if I’m not even out there where it’s actually dangerous?
“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 17:8)
But getting there requires the courage to throw off the covers and risk the threat of those imaginary Russian spies. Let’s face it, sometimes it feels riskier to trade in our fake protection for the real thing. We run from harmless shadows instead of finding true refuge in the shadow of the Almighty.
Maybe it’s time to come out from under the covers?