When Someone You Care For Deeply Wounds You Deeply

Erik Cooper —  October 27, 2011 — 1 Comment

When someone I care for deeply wounds me deeply. Says something hurtful. Does something disappointing. There are two ways I can respond.

1. FROM MY PAIN: Out of insecurity. Out of fear. To save face. To clear my name. To re-establish dominance. To protect my fragile self-image. To demand my rights.


2. OUT OF LOVE: Out of courage. To elevate the dialog. To look for the real issues. To listen. To extend grace. To set aside my bruised ego. To serve.

The goal of #1 is to protect me from pain. The second is rooted in desires greater than my self.

Don’t misunderstand, love is far from a sissy. It calls us to accountability and realigns us with the truth. But it’s focus is never self protection. It’s selfless, always clinging to hope for something greater.

When I react from my own hurt, I only create more. When I respond in love, I leave room for redemption.

How do you respond when someone you care for deeply wounds you deeply?

One response to When Someone You Care For Deeply Wounds You Deeply

  1. I think that Jesus was a terrific example of this principle.

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